Bury me at 7am.

Posted on 19/06/2013 by

Firstly, forgive me… But I’m blunt. So that out of the way, here’s what is to happen when I die.
1 – Don’t wait for my whole family from across the universe to gather. I’m a man of faith and death is just one last step into the fullness of life for me. I know funerals are closure and absolutely passionately believe in them, but don’t wait! If you’re not there for my funeral, say mass for me or have masses said!
2 – You better have my body at the funeral. The new custom is not to have the Body of the deceased present, because ‘I couldn’t handle it, Father.’ Rubbish. Get over your packaged meat mentality. If I meant something to you, I meant it as more than a thought – I hug, I shake hands, I gave you the Body and Blood of Christ in my hands. I am real…  I don’t cease to be real in death, just a little less together.
3 – I don’t like clowns. Seriously. They traumatise me. Some Undertakers behave like clowns. Clowns like Crusty in the Simpsons… or even worse, the Boss in the Simpsons. Rubbing hands. If I am real and dead, then death is real. Treat me normally! Undertaking is a noble profession, not one for clowns!
4 – Music. You know me. I will HAUNT you if you sing Amazing Graceless and The Lords my shepherd. Really. If you know me, you will love my love for great music. Please respect me… I wont let you play ‘Burn baby Burn’ in the Church for the exit song of your uncles cremation, so respect the Church. this is not a drive by.
5 – Preacher. Preach the Gospel of Resurrection. Not you. AND definitely not me! This priest has sat through too many lies for you to tell more about me. I am but a servant of the Lord, gone home to the Master…
6 – and no. no.no. memorial service, unless you want to be haunted. forever.

So 7am. That’s the time for workers to depart. and I’m but a worker.

Now – why this tirade? I’ve lost count of the number of funerals I have done. Most are simple, beautiful and healing. Some are spectacularly painful, like the funeral of my close friend, Fr Lionel Sham, murdered for being too nice. And then there are the extravaganzas, the ‘Smile and wave, Father’ moments all I want to do is run screaming for the hills as the person I knew is not the person being eulogised and canonised… bleg.

Funerals are hope, Resurrection. Pain. Fear. Human. Lets not turn them into insincere circuses with their own cast of clowns.

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Re-animation – Sunday 10 in Ordinary Time

Posted on 10/06/2013 by

10th Sunday in Ordinary time Year C Christ the King

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Discipline-SA. A good way to start 2013

Posted on 05/01/2013 by

I live in Pretoria/ Tshwane, where driving is a type of gambling… Drivers ignore pedestrians who ignore drivers who ignore trucks who ignore busses who ignore taxis who ignore motorcyclists who ignore cyclists who ignore traffic lights and rules.

I’ve been thinking about what happened to olympic cyclist Burry Stander (killed on a training ride by a driver who did not see him) and how this has sparked a sense of outrage and horror among cyclists and others.

I’m no great cyclist, but I do love being on a bike and would love to be in a position of safety.

If we look at Burry’s death in a broader context of +- 13500 people killed South African roads each year, I wonder if the problem is not a broader issue of discipline, rather than bad enforcement and rule ignorance. If we take out the 1300 deaths for dec, we’re still left with12 200 deaths over 11 months. This is a disaster akin the the crisis (what crisis?) in education and healthcare.

Unlike education and healthcare which are far more ‘institutionalized’ crises, Road discipline is something that we can all do something about personally.

I wonder if we don’t need to assert a need for personal discipline, personal choices? I personally am so over any form of government intervention and mass demonstrations (march, t-shirt, memorandum- problem solved).

Like the Lead-SA initiative, a personal call to be personally disciplined and to be able to live with those who are not personally disciplined might be the only way to turn this around.

Recently, I’ve been picked out about reading/ checking my phone at traffic lights. It’s become an unconscious habit and my passenger was horrified. It takes real discipline not to do this…

As I join the rush home tomorrow from the country so that real work can start on Monday, I will stick to the speed limit and take it easy. I only hope others will try too.

Anyway, these are early thoughts, something I personally try to do and something I preach about. Think about it, no hassle, no pressure. This might be the right time for discipline.

Peace for 2013.

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2012. Leap year horror

Posted on 31/12/2012 by

2012 has been a leap-year-horror. I am so pleased it has ended. I’m still trying to work out what was beneficial and what was just a complete waste of time.
In December, I was given two puppies. One was planned and the other a bit of a surprise. Xavi is a cross everything (Rottweiler, cocker, Labrador and cute) and Nita is a Jack Russell mixed with township… Xavier is still very much a 10 week old puppy, too cute for her own good, but a terror. Nita is nearly seven months old. She’s way stronger than Xavi.
One of my little joys has been watching them interact. Nita is a bully. She runs next to Xavi and as soon as the little one has speed worked up, Nita bumps her… And Xavi goes flying, usually with a yelp.
This has been my year. Just when I got speed worked up, I was knocked, not once but repeatedly, was out of my groove. I went flying. It has taken a year to get this all sorted out.
Work lost its groove quickly. The knock was significant. I did not get my groove back. It was a very deep groove that had become quiet comfortable and it needed a very big knock to get me out of that groove.
On reflection, while it would have been comfortable to slip back -bruised, battered and less trusting- into that deep groove, looking over the abyss back into the groove gave me a moment of clarity, of grace, to realize that I could no longer fit my gifts and talents into that groove.
I resigned my position as Communication Officer for the SACBC and have returned to my first love- being a parish priest. This is a significant financial blow, going from being fairly self sufficient to having to be a burden to a parish expenses once again,but I love the fact that’s am now capable once again of practicing what I love best, significantly improved by my seven years with the Conference and particularly by my experience in new media. Watch this space…

On a personal level, it’s been a huge year. I’ve learned that as a priest loneliness is part of the package and that facing that loneliness is often a priest’s greatest battle and danger. I realized this year that one cannot assume that friendship in a pastoral setting is friendship that translates well into a personal friendship. Sometimes the honesty of a personal friendship is masked by the role expectation of a priest and the personal experience that we priests have of people. I messed those boundaries up this year. I’ve emerged wiser, scarred and in some places still quite hurt.
I’ve also emerged to realize that as a priest true and deep friendships take time to build. That’s true of anyone, for anyone. I’ve also learned that the pain and trauma of 2012 have broken a barrier that I didn’t even think I had built up.
The danger of a professionalized priesthood is that I had allowed myself to become distant from the pain and trauma of others. This year was the first year that I cried at a funeral…I spoke at the funeral of a dear friend and realized just how much I needed to be me – priest always, but not distant from pain. I’ve felt that pain in the suicide of my cousin who stepped out of the closet (dramatically as he always did) into an abusive, manipulative and ultimately fatal relationship. I have felt the pain in watching family aging, in facing the delayed trauma of the murder of a dear friend and mentor.
I think I have become better for the pain. But I won’t seek more.

There have been some incredible goods that have emerged as the grace of 2012. But that is for another time.

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2012 in review

Posted on 31/12/2012 by

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Go quickly – bring the poor, maimed, blind and lame (Lk.14:15-24)

Posted on 06/11/2012 by

Despite reading and loving Sacred Scripture and being familiar with the wealth of the Word, I’m amazed every day that I get led to see something that I have not noticed before. The Gospel for today starts with one of Luke’s ‘Disastrous dinner parties’ (cf Nick King) where a guest shouts out an acclamation, maybe even a familiar or ritual saying to Jesus – ‘Blessed is he who shall eat bread in the Kingdom of Heaven’ and Jesus ruins the moment by telling a story… Sometimes, it must have been quite tough having Our Lord as a meal guest.

The story is about a rich person inviting other rich persons to a banquet – something only the rich can do. Yet, the invitation is rejected. What struck me in this familiar scenario is that those who reject the invitation do so because they are rich – landowners, owners of livestock (5 yoke of oxen is like owning a Lamborghini – or at least a huge tractor) and those who have ‘taken a wife’.

Contrast this with the streets and lanes of the city – no spaciousness here – where the understandably upset host now sends the servants. To the poor, the maimed, blind and lame.Those who work on the land – if they can – and those who cannot work.

Reading this with the initial exclamation is to see that the Bread of the Kingdom of God is the bread of the poor, the lame, the maimed and blind, – and that is blessedness. Read with the Gospel of this past Sunday (Matthew’s Beatitudes on the transferred Feast of All Saints) reinforces that the arrogant self sufficiency that willingly excludes self from the Banquet also excludes self from the Blessedness in this life.

The Scene in the story changes once again – with the host demanding that the hall be filled. I’ve not noticed before that the word used is ‘compel’. Wow. The urgency of that is to fill a banquet so that there is no space for those who change their mind and wish to come in – the response will simply be – the banquet is full. I’m not sure how I  feel about this – is there no choice to get in on a mind change? Or is the mind change possibly to admit that you and I can only experience the blessedness of the Kingdom Banquet if we admit that we are poor, maimed, blind and lame.

What a challenge to our Eucharist and our lives.

(Scripture version used – Revised Standard Version 2nd Catholic Edition)

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Take 2.

Posted on 06/11/2012 by

I’ve been away from this blog for longer than I realised. So much has happened in the interim. I have moved on from my position as the Information Officer of the SACBC. It’s a great joy to face a new ministry challenge. One of the challenges I look forward to is writing more. I await clarity on where I’m to be be deployed as a Parish Priest – but in the meantime, I’m happily enjoying not having to get into an office. I had a great day yesterday – surprisingly met a friend on the train to Johannesburg, spent the morning with the 94.7 Breakfast Express Crew and then had a great gym session in the afternoon. This is another thing to get used to – having a day off. I’ve missed it for a few years.

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